Do your friends hold you back from growing?
Do you feel like your friends and surroundings might be hindering your progress? I don’t know if you realize but we all want to gain acceptance from our surroundings. The lack of acceptance is unpleasant, and the need for acceptance by our surroundings is inherent in our nature, because without the help of our surroundings we could never survive. Nowadays functioning without the help of others is very difficult in every aspect of life.
This is why you subconsciously try to be like your environment because you want to be accepted this environment. You want to be able to get help from others and you feel good when in the group. Everything is fine until you want to change something in your life, because it will almost always mean moving away from your group and often you’ll have to face the reluctance of this environment.
You become like the people you associate with
Imagine that you’re surrounded by folks who love to party, knock back a few drinks, and smoke cigarettes. Maybe some of these people don’t have a job and complain about the world around them. They do not leave their city and spend most of their lives there. Maybe it’s a slightly overexaggerated example, but let’s just say it’s your environment. It doesn’t matter if it’s the closest family, friends, or maybe both. What kind of person do you think you’ll be in this environment for a long time? If you stay in this group, you will take over a lot of the features of such an environment over time and you will certainly do what people in this group do. Even if it doesn’t suit you. Unfortunately, this is how our world works.
Let’s switch gears for a moment and imagine that you’re surrounded by people who regularly take care of their physical condition, work hard and smart, learn new things, earn a good living, read books, and have insightful discussions about various possibilities. They often hit the road together and enjoy discovering new places. What will your life look like if your surroundings are just like this? Like before, you will take over most of the features of your environment—after all, you want to stay in the group and feel good, have contacts, relationships, etc.
The principle of operation is the same
You take over the characteristics of your environment. It doesn’t matter whether they’re positive or negative. This is how the world works and everyone wants to be accepted and adapts to their surroundings.
Why do you speak the language you speak? Because everyone around you speaks that language. But why more and more people in Poland also speak English? Because English is increasingly surrounding us in our country. Why did Poland ever have a socialist system, the shelves in shops were empty and the older generation was taught Russian in school? Because we were influenced by an environment from the East, which affected us so much. The more daring ones ventured abroad, where they were exposed to the influence of a richer and more liberal environment. And so, they became richer and more liberal themselves.
Who are you surrounding yourself with?
Think about it. Your immediate family, your friends, your associates, or even your life partner. Every day, they define so much what you become. Your friends invite you for a beer, and you go with them. Then you have a hangover all day long and you don’t feel like doing anything. Did you know that someone else during this time might have published two books on Amazon or worked a fourteen-hour shift as a waiter, put aside a few hundred zlotys for their first business, and learned a few new sentences in English? So, what’s been going on in your life during this time?
A nice example I heard listening to an English-language podcast about US Marines. These are very disciplined soldiers who are always in great shape. The beds are made immaculately. However, when they finish their service, their shape and standards often drop dramatically. They lose their shape, their willingness to live and often become even unemployed. Why is it that one moment these soldiers are at the peak of discipline, and then so many of them drastically let their standards slip? You probably already know the answer.
The environment during their service demands them to be the best possible version of themselves. They can’t let it slide, because then they’ll be cut off from the group. Each of them adjusts to the rest, which requires a daily battle with oneself and being a better person. As they gradually change their environment to one that is clearly less demanding, they lose their motivation and take on the characteristics of their new environment.
How was it in my case?
During my studies, I had a group of friends who were cool people. However, the only way they spent their free time was by drinking alcohol. What do you think, how did it affect me? I didn’t want to be a loner, and I did what they did, too. The worst part was that I even liked it—after all, if others live like that, what’s wrong with it?
In my surroundings, I also interacted with many people who smoked cigarettes. My family, friends at school, then my first long-term partner. How did it affect me? Of course, for many years I smoked, and even when I tried to quit smoking, it never worked out because there were always cigarettes around me, and I returned to the habit. It was only by cutting off what didn’t suit me, leaving behind friends and people who had a negative impact on me, that I was able to rediscover the joy of life and develop healthy habits.
I now successfully work as a manager, build my own business, and have released hundreds of products on Amazon. How did I do that? I’ve changed my place of residence, I work with people from all over the world, I read biographies of famous individuals (in a way, I surround myself with them), I watch movies of those better than me (God, thank you for YouTube), I buy and participate in online courses related to business and Amazon, I seek new acquaintances, and so on. I’ve changed my environment, and my life has turned 180 degrees — that’s what this blog is all about.
How to change your environment?
If your environment is pulling you down (if that’s the case, you’re probably aware of it already), then you’re in for a challenge. How to start? Gradually, start surrounding yourself with people better than you.
You don’t have to give up your whole life right away. Read books, meet new people, take courses (the Amazon course changed my life years ago), try new things, take risks, and try something new. Get inspired every day with affirmations, watch my videos and take action.
Books + internet
In these times, we are fortunate that knowledge is at our fingertips. We can have a business teacher from the other end of the country or the world. I learned business on Amazon from someone on the other side of the world through a course worth only a few hundred dollars. All I had to do was want and act. I recently invested in a year-long business course for $300, and for the next year, I will be surrounded by ambitious people and gaining valuable business knowledge. This is how you change your surroundings. Today, it is easier than ever, so I encourage you to take action. Good luck!
Original post: here
Do your friends hold you back from growing? — watch the video
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Hi, I’m Tomek.
From Waiter To Millionaire. Welcome.
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Today, I want to tell you
about a very important topic for me
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and for everyone of you,
even though you may not realize that.
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Your surroundings, friends,
the closest people in your life –
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whether these are co-workers, people in
school, at work, family, colleagues –
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they all have a huge impact on you.
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Now, like in this video’s title –
do they block you from self-development?
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I want to answer this question
within the next few minutes.
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For example, let’s say that
your loved ones, your family and friends
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are the people who like to party,
often go out for beer,
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drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes,
complain about the world,
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maybe many of them don’t work,
they don’t leave their circle
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and they don’t travel anywhere –
that’s what your surroundings look like.
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How do you react to it – you try to be
above them or you just conform?
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I think that if you live in
such surroundings for years,
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then you’ll start to become
the same person as they are,
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whether you want it or not, because
you’ll try to automatically adjust.
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It may not suit you,
you may suffer,
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but as long as you don’t get out of
such environment,
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you’ll become such a person.
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Imagine that your friends are people who
play sport, avoid alcohol,
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don’t smoke cigarettes,
like to travel, to discuss wise topics,
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maybe they do business,
read books –
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so, positive things
that you’d love to be doing.
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And now imagine that these are
the people in your surroundings –
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what kind of person you’ll become?
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Think about it – will you go to
parties by yourself?
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Will you complain about
the world by yourself?
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No. You’ll automatically
adjust to such people.
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It’ll have a very big impact on your life
and these people will pull you upward.
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Sorry, becuse it’s windy
and I hope you hear me well.
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And now, I presented these two examples
to make your realize that
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it doesn’t matter whether you’re in
the positive or negative environment –
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you’ll always derive from
this environment and adjust to it.
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That’s very important, because
you may have good intentions,
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but if you remain in your negative
environment, it’ll always drag you down.
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Even if you want to move forward
and you have an idea for life,
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your surroundings will drag you down.
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That’s because if you tell
your negative surroundings
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that you want to open a business,
educate, go to college, anything positive,
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what will you hear?
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They’ll respond negatively
to the fact that you want to develop,
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be a better person and
they’ll drag you down.
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On the other hand,
if you have nice people around you,
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everything will go your way,
as they’ll pull you upward.
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I have a whole list of things
I want to tell you about,
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so that I won’t forget anything.
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Why do you speak Polish?
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Because everyone around you
speak Polish, when you live in Poland.
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Whether you want it or not,
everyone will be speaking Polish
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and you’ll also learn this language.
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That’s another example that
your environment influences you a lot
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and you can’t do anything about it.
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In Poland, more and more
people speak English
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and there’s a lot of stuff
written and spoken in English.
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So, most people start speaking English.
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Why? Because we’re surrounded by
these things
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and sometimes we need to know
this language to do something.
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So, we’re adjusting
to these circumstances.
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Just like it was in Poland in the past –
why people learned Russian in school?
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Because we were influenced by the East
and we adjusted to it.
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Now, the world has changed.
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People used to leave back then
and exposed to different surroundings,
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richer ones, to have more in life.
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That’s why you should surround
yourself with people better than you
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and why bad environment drags you down.
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I’ve been listening to
a cool podcast about US soldiers.
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When they’re in the military,
they’re at their best,
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they’re very disciplined and very focused
on being the best version of themselves.
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Their beds are made perfectly
and these people are probably
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the most disciplined people in the world,
when they’re in the military.
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But it’s often the case that
after they leave the military,
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they literally just descend.
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That’s because
they don’t have a discipline,
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their physical condition is weakening
and they often start drinking.
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Why? Because their military environment
required them to be
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a great and strong person,
train, etc.
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Once they left,
they fell into bad surroundings,
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they had no motivation or purpose
and their life got worse.
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That’s another example how important is
the environment you’re in.
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When I was young,
being in college,
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I had a bunch of friends
and my family around.
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My friends were cool,
but their main way of spending time
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was drinking alcohol,
smoking cigarettes,
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leaving classes
and not doing anything interesting.
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And guess what kind of person I was?
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Yes, I was the same person as them.
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I used to go out for drinking
alcohol, I was wasting my time,
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I didn’t know what to do with my life
and I even enjoyed it.
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Why? Because I was
in such an environment of people
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and I didn’t know
that I can do different.
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I wanted to adjust and not be rejected.
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Leaving a harmful group of people
is very difficult,
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as no one wants to be rejected.
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That’s because rejection from the group
simply meant death for us back then.
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Nowadays, we also need to have
other people in our lives,
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but it’s a little different.
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We have this deeply ingrained thought
that we have to remain in this group.
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It takes a lot of effort from us to
change our environment
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and disattach from the group.
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So, how to change your environment
for the one which lift you upward?
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Luckily, nowadays you have the internet,
books, e-books, YouTube and –
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no matter what situation you’re in –
you can start reading books
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written by successful people
and cool biographies.
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I started my so-called
self-development from reading books
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by Arnold Schwarzenegger – great book –
Richard Branson, and many others.
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It’s not about getting excited with
some biographies,
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thinking that
you have to be a billionaire.
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The point is to surround yourself with
better people and to be motivated.
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When you read books, you slowly
become motivated to be a better person
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and you start thinking that you can.
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You slowly start leaving
your old environment
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and try being better than it.
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When I was starting my journey,
except for reading books,
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I invested in courses,
learned about business and Amazon.
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Over time, my friends consigned to history
and I was meeting new people.
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Now, I invested in a rather expensive
course that costed me $300,
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which brings together business people
who can meet, so I gain knowledge
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and surround myself with
new people in this way.
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Nowadays, we have the internet
and we can connect with people
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from all over the world –
I encourage you to do the same.
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If you don’t have people
in your surroundings
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with whom
you’d want to hang out,
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you can find them online.
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You can learn, meet people,
watch movies, read books –
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that’s your starting point.
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Over time, your life will start to change.
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So, I encourage you to act,
meet new people,
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change your environment,
reject what you don’t want
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and add the things you want
in order to change your life.
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Once you start changing
your surroundings consciously,
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you’ll see that within a few years
your life will also be changing.
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I’m the best example of it,
as that’s what happened in my life.
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So, I wanted here to inspire you
to change your surroundings.
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Be welcome to check my other videos
about enhancing one’s life.
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If you’ve liked this video,
give a thumbs up and subscribe.
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I greet you from
a cool Kraków in October.
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It’s very beautiful here.
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I hope you heard me clearly,
despite of the wind.
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See you next time. Bye!